You’re Worthy of Disabled Joy and Love

Maggie Bowyer
2 min readJul 7, 2022

“The Last Time” I Settled

Photo by Hannah Busing on Unsplash

At this point, I have talked to countless people about relationships and disability. I have experienced challenges in relationships due to my disabilities. While unfair to both parties, partners often end up as our caregivers, at least in part. This can change the dynamics of a relationship, though I have found communicating mindfully, having a good partner, and having a well-rounded support system can be a recipe for a beautiful and strong relationship.

Having a diagnosis has greatly helped with all of this, but the most important part of all is having a partner willing to communicate about their needs and listen to yours. I used to be yelled at for unexplained symptoms, holding people up, or being a burden. Now? I never allow anyone to raise their voice at me. I walk (or roll) away. I need someone to support my basic needs, but I also make time dedicated to loving and intimacy with my partner that involves no caregiving. I refuse to be belittled or blamed for my symptoms, but I have also found a balance in taking care of myself as wholly as possible which does manage some of my symptoms for part of the month.

What I mean to say is that no one is a burden for needing help, and no one should have to forfeit intimacy due to disability. Balance is possible, but only with people who are worth it (and who make it easy).

The Last Time

Once I asked you
If you’d still love me
If I got sick.

Of course
I’m not going to leave you.

You were too busy with her
To take ten minutes
To bring me tissues.
You couldn’t see the issue.

I started buying
The big bulk boxes
Every time I’m at the store.

Today’s poem is from my upcoming collection UNGODLY. If you enjoy my poetry, please consider shopping any of my poetry collections or other merchandise!

Maggie Bowyer