Member-only story
You Deserve Compassion Through Any Illness
For a really long time, I thought my symptoms would stop me from finding real and deep love. I hid my symptoms but when they did burst through, even just emotionally, I felt judged or vulnerable to attacks from my significant other.
It got to the point that I completely shut down. I became very dissociative and depressed. I remember being on a long video call with my boyfriend at the time. I was extremely depressed and probably in a lot of pain. I was immobile and felt like I couldn’t move. He got so frustrated with me that he eventually got off the call angrily.
I didn’t deserve that kind of reaction when in such an acute depressive episode. I deserved love and compassion and support.
Now? I could have a complete PTSD meltdown and my partner will be there to grab all my crisis tools. He will sit with me when I am depressed. He is amazing with my Endo and the complications the disease can bring to our relationship.
Chronic illness does not make you a burden. It shows you if someone is good enough for you or not.
Chronically Cursed
The moment I stopped
Loving you
Was the moment I realized
You could not love
The burrito version of me,
Curled up on the couch
With you on FaceTime,
Unable to make a sound.
This disease has taken
Sensuality…
