A Poem for the Lonely Flares

Maggie Bowyer
2 min readMar 24, 2022
Photo by Sasha Freemind on Unsplash

It is easy to feel alone in a flare. Oftentimes, no one is home but me and my cats. A severe flareup can often last a week, stuck barely able to get from my bed to my bathroom.

When you first get sick, everyone sends you “get well” cards and flowers. As the days, weeks, months go on, people begin to forget. They stop inviting you out because you never say yes. They move on while life stays the same for you because when you’re chronically ill it often feels like you are frozen in time, waiting for the next doctor or treatment.

For a long time, it felt like I lost so many friends. In reality, I gained compassionate friends that hold me like a warm bath. I am very thankful to all of my friends — fellow chronically ill folks or non-disabled pals really looking to do the work and uproot their ableism. I am forever grateful for the true and deep connections I now have.

Bathtubs Can’t Replace Friendships

My new best friend
Is far more warm
Than the one before,
Wraps me up in fluid love
That moves to meet me.
When I fill her up,
She pours back into me.
My tears always mix
With her oceans
Therefore I feel no judgment.
I don’t have to worry
About oversharing when
I have already taken
The deep dive.
My new best friend
Cannot replace the feeling
Of arms wrapped around me
Or the feeling of air when



Maggie Bowyer